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Life Hereafter is a song from Muppets Haunted Mansion. Sung in the Grand Hall by a large ensemble of Happy haunts, it is a style parody of Be Our Guest from Beauty and the Beast.

Lyrics

Ghost Host (spoken):

We now invite you to sit back and relax, as our 999 residents proudly present... your funeral.

Kermit:

Welcome to the life hereafter

Sleepless nights, eternal laughter

Buy the farm, push up some daisies

Muppet Monsters:

Then get down with us creepy crazies

Clean Gene (spoken):

Hi, wanna come play with me?

Ghost Host:

Frights du jour

Ghost:

And daily nightmares

Mummy and Duddy:

Ghoulish scares to raise your neck hairs

Ghost Host:

If you think it's too macabre,

Follow the floating candelabra

Ballroom Rat:

But he ain't French and he can't croon

Yolanda:

We did that in a beastly cartoon

Ghost Host (spoken):

She was a beauty

Ghost Host:

We'll never rest, we'll never cease

'Till you finally rest in peace

ckwic:

You can fly and you can float

Scooter:

Or you can scream just like a goat

Screaming Goat:

(screams)

Kermit:

But to grant your endless wishes

Squid:

First, you must sleep down with the fishes

Pepe (spoken):

Hey! Hold on, I'm not sleepy! (screams)

Kermit:

Rain or snow

Ghost Host:

Lightning or thunder

Frackles:

The party is down here six feet under

Frackle:

Trick or treat?

Mo:

Take a smell of my feet

Big Mean Carl:

And give me something good to eat

Ghost Host:

You're all alone, but don't be scared

We've got your wake all pre-prepared

Howard (spoken):

Hi, I'm serving soup. It's a cream mock tortoise and a yummy red that pairs with rigor mortis. (laughs)

Statler (spoken):

It's all so dopey. I'm complaining.

Waldorf (spoken):

At least it's almost entertaining.

Statler and Waldorf:

(laughing)

Statler (spoken):

Huh? What the--

Announcer (spoken):

Your attention, please. Restless spirits have halted our progress. Please remain seated in your doom buggy, and we will continue our tour momentarily.

Statler (spoken):

Oh, no. The only thing worse than being stuck in here with you is being stuck in here with them!

Statler and Waldorf:

(laughing)

Fozzie:

We tell jokes

Bobo:

I do tricks

Crazy Harry:

With my deadly candlesticks

Bobo (spoken):

Uh-oh.

Kermit:

Come on now and lift your glass

Ghost Host:

Filled with poison sassafras

The Swedish Chef:

(Speaking mock-Swedish)

Joe from Legal:

Sign your will, deed, and trust

'Cause it's time to bite the dust

All:

Cash in your chips, we're not joking

Now's the time you should be croaking

You're so great, none can compare

No one has your savoir faire

Ghost Host:

It's time to turn your whole life story

Into a momento mori

All:

Corpse by corpse and one by one

Until you shout, "My life is done"

Kermit:

So join us in this life hereafter

All:

Sleepless nights, eternal laughter

Sleepless nights, eternal laughter

Sleepless nights, eternal laughter

Sleepless nights, eternal laughter

Kermit:

And now the greatest act of all

Ghost Host:

It's Gonzo's final curtain call

All:

From the basement to the rafters

Join us in the great hereafter

You'll be great forever after

Muppet Monsters:

In our monstrous life hereafter

All:

For our afterparty afterlife

Rowlf (spoken):

Rest. In. Peace.

All (spoken):

R.I.P.!

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