Haunted Mansion Wiki

Life Hereafter is a song from Muppets Haunted Mansion. Sung in the Grand Hall by a large ensemble of Happy haunts, it is a style parody of Be Our Guest from Beauty and the Beast.


Ghost Host (spoken):

We now invite you to sit back and relax, as our 999 residents proudly present... your funeral.


Welcome to the life hereafter

Sleepless nights, eternal laughter

Buy the farm, push up some daisies

Muppet Monsters:

Then get down with us creepy crazies

Clean Gene (spoken):

Hi, wanna come play with me?

Ghost Host:

Frights du jour


And daily nightmares

Mummy and Duddy:

Ghoulish scares to raise your neck hairs

Ghost Host:

If you think it's too macabre,

Follow the floating candelabra

Ballroom Rat:

But he ain't French and he can't croon


We did that in a beastly cartoon

Ghost Host (spoken):

She was a beauty

Ghost Host:

We'll never rest, we'll never cease

'Till you finally rest in peace


You can fly and you can float


Or you can scream just like a goat

Screaming Goat:



But to grant your endless wishes


First, you must sleep down with the fishes

Pepe (spoken):

Hey! Hold on, I'm not sleepy! (screams)


Rain or snow

Ghost Host:

Lightning or thunder


The party is down here six feet under


Trick or treat?


Take a smell of my feet

Big Mean Carl:

And give me something good to eat

Ghost Host:

You're all alone, but don't be scared

We've got your wake all pre-prepared

Howard (spoken):

Hi, I'm serving soup. It's a cream mock tortoise and a yummy red that pairs with rigor mortis. (laughs)

Statler (spoken):

It's all so dopey. I'm complaining.

Waldorf (spoken):

At least it's almost entertaining.

Statler and Waldorf:


Statler (spoken):

Huh? What the--

Announcer (spoken):

Your attention, please. Restless spirits have halted our progress. Please remain seated in your doom buggy, and we will continue our tour momentarily.

Statler (spoken):

Oh, no. The only thing worse than being stuck in here with you is being stuck in here with them!

Statler and Waldorf:



We tell jokes


I do tricks

Crazy Harry:

With my deadly candlesticks

Bobo (spoken):



Come on now and lift your glass

Ghost Host:

Filled with poison sassafras

The Swedish Chef:

(Speaking mock-Swedish)

Joe from Legal:

Sign your will, deed, and trust

'Cause it's time to bite the dust


Cash in your chips, we're not joking

Now's the time you should be croaking

You're so great, none can compare

No one has your savoir faire

Ghost Host:

It's time to turn your whole life story

Into a momento mori


Corpse by corpse and one by one

Until you shout, "My life is done"


So join us in this life hereafter


Sleepless nights, eternal laughter

Sleepless nights, eternal laughter

Sleepless nights, eternal laughter

Sleepless nights, eternal laughter


And now the greatest act of all

Ghost Host:

It's Gonzo's final curtain call


From the basement to the rafters

Join us in the great hereafter

You'll be great forever after

Muppet Monsters:

In our monstrous life hereafter


For our afterparty afterlife

Rowlf (spoken):

Rest. In. Peace.

All (spoken):