The Muppets - Life Hereafter (From "Muppets Haunted Mansion") ft. Will Arnett
Life Hereafter is a song from Muppets Haunted Mansion. Sung in the Grand Hall by a large ensemble of Happy haunts, it is a style parody of Be Our Guest from Beauty and the Beast.
Lyrics[]
Ghost Host (spoken):
We now invite you to sit back and relax, as our 999 residents proudly present... your funeral.
Kermit:
Welcome to the life hereafter
Sleepless nights, eternal laughter
Buy the farm, push up some daisies
Muppet Monsters:
Then get down with us creepy crazies
Clean Gene (spoken):
Hi, wanna come play with me?
Ghost Host:
Frights du jour
Ghost:
And daily nightmares
Mummy and Duddy:
Ghoulish scares to raise your neck hairs
Ghost Host:
If you think it's too macabre,
Follow the floating candelabra
Ballroom Rat:
But he ain't French and he can't croon
Yolanda:
We did that in a beastly cartoon
Ghost Host (spoken):
She was a beauty
Ghost Host:
We'll never rest, we'll never cease
'Till you finally rest in peace
You can fly and you can float
Scooter:
Or you can scream just like a goat
Screaming Goat:
(screams)
Kermit:
But to grant your endless wishes
Squid:
First, you must sleep down with the fishes
Pepe (spoken):
Hey! Hold on, I'm not sleepy! (screams)
Kermit:
Rain or snow
Ghost Host:
Lightning or thunder
Frackles:
The party is down here six feet under
Frackle:
Trick or treat?
Mo:
Take a smell of my feet
Big Mean Carl:
And give me something good to eat
Ghost Host:
You're all alone, but don't be scared
We've got your wake all pre-prepared
Howard (spoken):
Hi, I'm serving soup. It's a cream mock tortoise and a yummy red that pairs with rigor mortis. (laughs)
Statler (spoken):
It's all so dopey. I'm complaining.
Waldorf (spoken):
At least it's almost entertaining.
Statler and Waldorf:
(laughing)
Statler (spoken):
Huh? What the--
Announcer (spoken):
Your attention, please. Restless spirits have halted our progress. Please remain seated in your doom buggy, and we will continue our tour momentarily.
Statler (spoken):
Oh, no. The only thing worse than being stuck in here with you is being stuck in here with them!
Statler and Waldorf:
(laughing)
We tell jokes
Bobo:
I do tricks
With my deadly candlesticks
Bobo (spoken):
Uh-oh.
Kermit:
Come on now and lift your glass
Ghost Host:
Filled with poison sassafras
The Swedish Chef:
(Speaking mock-Swedish)
Joe from Legal:
Sign your will, deed, and trust
'Cause it's time to bite the dust
All:
Cash in your chips, we're not joking
Now's the time you should be croaking
You're so great, none can compare
No one has your savoir faire
Ghost Host:
It's time to turn your whole life story
Into a momento mori
All:
Corpse by corpse and one by one
Until you shout, "My life is done"
Kermit:
So join us in this life hereafter
All:
Sleepless nights, eternal laughter
Sleepless nights, eternal laughter
Sleepless nights, eternal laughter
Sleepless nights, eternal laughter
Kermit:
And now the greatest act of all
Ghost Host:
It's Gonzo's final curtain call
All:
From the basement to the rafters
Join us in the great hereafter
You'll be great forever after
Muppet Monsters:
In our monstrous life hereafter
All:
For our afterparty afterlife
Rowlf (spoken):
Rest. In. Peace.
All (spoken):
R.I.P.!